My Mental Space

Yesterday I had a call from a screener for one job and an interview at another. I went into the day hoping something would work out between the two, as I usually do, though it never happens.

Well, it happened yesterday.

The screen call went well and I’m waiting to see if they contact me again, but if they don’t, it’s fine, because the other job hired me, same-day. I have orientation on Thursday, and I have no worries about the background check (naturally). It’s not the pay I was hoping for when looking for a job, but it’s full time, which means benefits, it’s a cashier position so I know it well, and the GM definitely could tell I was looking for something long-term and that I was hungry for success, which impressed him it seems. He acted like he wasn’t sure about adding me as a full-timer, but then he asked a lady that runs the front area and she wasn’t sure if they had a full time person already. That “settled” it shall we say, and he gave me the job. Needless to say, I spent the day working on my budget sheets and worked out a plan for taking care of my bills while staying on the positive side of things. The outlook looks good, the mood has swung further upwards, and I can’t wait to get started! I won’t be working earlier than 8am and later than 8pm, which gives me some time to enjoy the evenings. I expect I’ll be working some weekends of course, which is fine. Me and John will find ways to have our together time, and I’ll make time for working out as well.

Things are positive right now, and I’ll be doing my best to keep it that way. I’m not going to keep myself on guard for everything because that’s a slice of paranoia I don’t need to be. I have to believe in the process, and especially in myself. I can do this, and I am DOING this. I have today and tomorrow to get things done that I want to do so I can feel like I’m satisfied with how I used my free time. I’m done eating for right now, I have leftovers for later, I’m going to the car wash to clean my car up and out, and I have more things to clean at the apartment, particularly boxes that just keep adding up because they’re a good size for packing things when moving, but they’re just taking up so much space it’s gotten maddening. Luckily there is still some storage space left to put them all into.

On that note, I will say I look forward to cleaning out my storage units and putting other parts of my life back together. I have plenty of stuff to make our next place comfy, and I want to get to the point I can make use of it all. Shelves, a recliner, couch, my desk, and the dining room table, among other things. Truth be told, I realized a few days ago that I still think of our apartment as his because I was walking through with my shoes still on, something he doesn’t do, and I felt like I was doing something bad to his space in the process. It’s our shared space, but he was there first, so that makes it his by default in my brain. I want a space we’ve chosen, furnished, and decorated together, then it’ll feel more like home to me. My stuff is in this apartment already, it just feels a lot like I’ve encroached on his territory. Sharing a small apartment takes some balancing between our respective belongings, and I feel like I’ve taken things over a good bit, though I’ve also provided things he hasn’t enjoyed before, like my record player.

And suddenly I’ve decided to divulge the plans we have for next year, so long as all goes well.

By the way I’ve been talking, it’s obvious we need more space, and need a space to call ours, rightfully and respectively, so the plan is, by the beginning of spring, we’re going to rent a house either in Farmington Hills or Madison Heights, one that has at least 2 bedrooms and a basement. I’m personally hoping for around 1500 square feet of size because, obviously, we’ve got a lot of stuff, and then there’s the fact we’re planning to bring our friend Alex to Michigan so he can have a fresh start in his own life, and while he won’t be bringing a mountain of stuff, we still need space for him to feel included in the goings-on of everyday life. Location is also key because he’s huge into the One Piece TCG, so he’ll want to get to card shops, which means he’ll need to have public transportation options when me and John aren’t home, and then there’s him having a job to get to and come home from. I admit I’m personally rattling the idea of him working at my job around in my head as a possibility.

Things are going to be very different next year, especially by this time next year. I’ll make sure to check in and do a comparison between the two when the 15th rolls around. Hopefully I’ll have lots of good things to share. As for today, John will be home soon after a memorial service in PA, I still have lots of cleaning to do in and on my car and at the apartment. Hopefully the power will be back on before he gets back. Hoping you all have a great Tuesday!